I went to México for about 10 days to live at El Sauzal Orphanage.

Quite honestly, as time drew near, I was becoming more anxious and doubt was starting to creep into my mind. I knew it was only going to be for 10 days and this was a sacrifice I was ready to make, however impulsive my decision was to up and leave. Was I meant to be there? Did I make the right decision? What if I don’t survive? What if I’m not well received? Will I have enough food? What if I don’t like it?

It was amazing. The experience pushed limits of my knowledge of Español, my child relation skills, challenge the luxuries of personal hygiene, and led me to even help to prepare meals (that's a laugh for those who know me and my non-domesticated self). I’ve lived in foreign countries before, but this was different, as they were more developed than México. Eventually I was not concerned since in the back of my mind, I knew that I would return to my life in Hawaìi.

But as I listened to the stories of some of the children carry with them, my heart would break. I admired the determination, the stamina and the love of a couple who cared so much, that they would raise up an orphanage that was overflowing with love, generosity and hope for a generation that would know Jesus.

I surprised myself at the end when it was time to leave, because I didn’t want to leave. That I would have so much love for the children and the staff there over such a short period of time. I did not understand where the flood of emotions came from.

Roy, the president of the El Sauzal Foundation, told us that our presence at the orphanage was not a coincidence. I was meant to be there. I’m not sure what God has in store for me for the future about my calling in life, but this was part of it. When I returned, I had to go see Dr. Tasaki, my TMJ doctor and he told me to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. I have the paintbrush in my hand, but what am I creating? I admit, sometimes I am impatient and I want to know, now what I’m meant to do. But I’m a work in progress but all of my experiences tied together are leading me somewhere.

I'm back. Almost immediately, my life returned to as it was, almost like I hadn't left. But I refuse to have my life remain the same.